I turned 85 this past Wednesday. Well, not really. But all of the muscles in my back declared mutiny and it felt like 60 years of wear and tear hit my body in 60 seconds. World war 3 broke out without warning as my bones, muscles and organs fought for supremacy. As my muscles tried to overtake my body by brute force, my nerves tried to rescue my crushing lungs by buckling my legs out from under neath me. My arms did everything in their power to protect my head from the cruel tile floor, grasping on to my work locker for dear life. My back brought in its artillery through a series of quick spasms, as it tightened its evil grip on my ribs. Mirroring the actions of a sociopath struggling to tighten the ropes around his hostage's arms, my back made its third attempt to tighten its grip around my ribs and left hip. My lungs did everything in their power to try to fight the evil back muscles, as my stomach prepared to unleash a JDAM on the aspiring dictator.
For those of you who know anything about the stomach, when the brain radios in to this little organ for assistance, it only ever has one mission. It is the 500 pound bomb of the body. If your stomach gets brought in to the war, negotiations are lost. It will override all other bodily functions and take over the muscular system by force. The only way that the stomach can be stopped is if the brain (attorney general) initiates an operation Zzzz, also known as a fainting spell. Lucky for me I experienced both before my legs went numb and entire upper body became as stiff as a cadaver.
Apparently what I experienced was a pinched nerve, which left me with a bunch of pulled, sprained/strained muscles along my back. I prefer to call it like it is, old age hitting me like a freight train.
For those of you who know anything about the stomach, when the brain radios in to this little organ for assistance, it only ever has one mission. It is the 500 pound bomb of the body. If your stomach gets brought in to the war, negotiations are lost. It will override all other bodily functions and take over the muscular system by force. The only way that the stomach can be stopped is if the brain (attorney general) initiates an operation Zzzz, also known as a fainting spell. Lucky for me I experienced both before my legs went numb and entire upper body became as stiff as a cadaver.
Apparently what I experienced was a pinched nerve, which left me with a bunch of pulled, sprained/strained muscles along my back. I prefer to call it like it is, old age hitting me like a freight train.